The word ‘affair’ conjures up images of a steamy, sleazy, clandestine situation between two married people of the opposite sex. Affairs never fail to raise eye-brows. In the event where both are married to different people or where one is married, the term still used to describe the relationship is an ‘affair’.
What Is An Affair?
While love between two unmarried people is treated as normal and is often encouraged, extra-marital love or relationship is treated as a transgression and the word ‘affair’ comes to describe the relationship.
Most often an affair is said to transpire between two people who may be in love or who are in a physical relationship out of wedlock even though they may be married to different people. However, there’s much more to affairs than what meets the eye. Affairs need not carry an element of sex.
That is, not all affairs are of a sexual nature. Many times, couples often indulge in an emotional affair, sans sex. While this may be called platonic love, it nevertheless can be categorized as affair! Not all would like an emotional connection to be termed as affair, but this kind of a connection still has undertones of an affair.
Love or attachment between two people of the opposite sex without traces of sex is considered to be platonic and many consider this to be harmless and pure. But, how long a platonic relationship will continue to operate without sex, is never known!
Traditional views opine that no relationship between two people of the opposite gender can remain platonic for long. Given that the relationship is platonic, if married couples are fond of partners outside marriage, enjoy the company of a third party, neglects legal spouses and enjoys conversation where private matters are revealed then such a relationship also falls under the category of an ‘affair’.
Marriage is socially sanctified where two people in love vow to live with each other, procreate, share their joys and upheavals, offer comfort during sickness and vow to remain in wedlock till death parts them. When a husband and wife are supposed to bond together and battle every challenge together, they should refrain from involving a third party.
If every meaningful conversation is had with someone other than the spouse, when joys and sorrows are shared animatedly with a non-entity, when advice is sought from an outsider, then can this relationship not be termed as an affair?
Sex In An Affair
Oftentimes, after the initial luster of marriage wears off, simmering passions die down. Time constraints and responsibilities leave little to be desired. Either or both partners may feel neglected. This could trigger an affair of a sexual nature. Sometimes an inadequacy seen in the spouse, such as lack of looks, sparks off an affair. But at other times when the marriage is in the rocks, partners may indulge in affairs.
Are Affairs An Addiction?
Some individuals constantly crave excitement and a string of affairs ensues. This can not only put off the loyal partner but can lead to medical complications too. Infidelity here could also be a result of latent psychological problems. Women with such a problem are termed as nymphomaniacs and philandering men are called lecherous. This problem needs treatment.
Can Affairs Be Obliterated?
Will affairs be erased from the face of the earth? Since eons humans are known to have had affairs. While social scientists opine that humans are polygamous, moralistic doctrines condemn this polygamous side of humans. The question is, can affairs cease to exist? Perhaps no! That’s because wants vary and outlooks differ too. Perhaps the incidents can be brought down.
The cornerstone of any relationship is communication. Honest, polite and regular communication is a bridge that bridges differences. Friendship is the second important tool. Treat each other as you’d treat a close friend. Bonding comes third. Spending time together, holidaying together, indulging in sex often are vital too.
If the initial years of togetherness are worth a recall, affairs will rarely occur. Respect matters too. Not the kind of respect that is accorded during a conversation. Respect here means respecting boundaries; not doing something that your partner will disapprove of. A compassionate heart full of mirth and good humor completes the recipe for an affair-proof marriage.