It doesn’t seem that long ago that you took those to vows promising yourself to your mate until death. It seemed like a good idea at the time, right? And now, months or even years have gone by and the newness and magic have worn off, leaving you with a sense that something is missing in your life. Where did the excitement go? What happened to wanting to be with your partner all the time? You are bored and feel taken for granted and then one day you meet someone who makes you feel valuable, important, and interesting. Uh-oh.
Whether you realize it or not, you are at a crucial decision point. Before you allow your new attraction to blind you to reason and common sense, consider the following question carefully: is it worth having an extra-marital affair?
“Wait,” you say. “I’m not thinking about have an affair.” But the truth of the matter is this. You need to think about having an extra-marital affair long before you actually have one. That’s the ideal time to weigh the consequences of your actions — before you take them. Only then can you be rational and clear-headed enough to make a good decision.
There is ample research documenting the high cost of extra-marital affairs. Sadly, the biggest of these consequences will occur regardless of whether your infidelity is ever discovered. So, before you take the plunge into the waters of deception, consider three things first. 1) Even if your spouse never finds out about your unfaithfullness, you will always know that you cheated and you will feel guilty. 2) In order to protect your secret, you will have to continue your deception, even if you stop having the affair. That involves lying and more lying. 3) You cannot unring the infidelity bell. Once you have cheated you can never go back to where you were before you did. Your life and your marraige are forever changed. A broken promise stays broken.
If your affair does come to light you are facing a host of other problems, not the least of which is the probable dissolution of your marriage. It may also ruin your reputation, destroy valued relationships with friends and family, and jeopardize your position at work. Then, factor in the possibility of exposure to sexually transmitted disease.
Without question, marital relationships take a lot of time, energy, and effort. Sadly, over time, husbands and wives do take each other for granted, and forget to do the little things to make each other feel loved and appreciated. The question remains, is it worth it to abandon the foundation of trust and honesty to pursue affection elsewhere.
The best time to end an extra-marital affair is before you have one, before your mind is clouded by lust and new. Think long and hard about the consequences of infidelity in your relationship. Picture the impact cheating would have on your life with the one you promised your heart to. Then, decide for yourself if the costs of unfaithfullness and deceit are just too high.