Regardless of how scheming, adventurous, thrilling or offensive an affair may seem, an affair is a word that conjures up mixed emotions, raising eye-brows! Whether an affair is disgusting or is a tryst with destiny and therefore stimulating, an affair is certainly a life altering experience to the one who indulges in it and to the affected party.
It’s not as if affairs are commonplace today. Adultery existed since time immemorial and has been regarded obnoxiously too! While social scientists, psychologists and anthropologists opine that man (women too) are inherently bigamous or even polygamous, society has woven certain ethics in the moral fiber of relationships making affairs seem as aberrations. Nevertheless, affairs continue to happen.
Society acts as a deterrent and in certain nations, stringent laws are in place too, but affairs according to some give a certain high!
Why Affairs Happen
“Why do affairs happen?” is a question that has intrigued even the layman, but research or social ethics have never been able to discourage or prevent one from happening.
Every marriage or relationship begins to lose its luster after a span of time. However, every relationship can become riveting if partners invest time and energy in igniting passion into their relationship. Rekindling a dying fire sets embers soaring and these sparks act as fodder to the warm fire of love! Discovering new aspects of each other, doing things together, taking up hobbies, dating each other often, honeymooning together regularly, can keep boredom at bay. Of course, commitment is the keyword here!
The betraying partner often offers a justification that an affair puts the spark back into a dying marriage or relationship. Yes, with new ideas and an adventure that acts as a boost, a dying relationship may seem to get revived, but how long the revival lasts, we know not, for when the affair is exposed, the affair becomes a life-altering experience for all those involved.
All marriages or relationships are made in heaven and that’s how people come together. But some relationships become hellish! Said someone, “Every relationship more than a year old has many grounds for a split, but the trick is to find grounds for togetherness!”
Not all couples are compatible always. Even best couples have their share of disagreements. However, if couples cannot see eye to eye on anything and this difference erupts into major quarrels, it’s wise to call it quits. But the presence of children, joint finances and familiar grounds hold two people together. So the result is an affair on the sly! Soon, one of the partners finds a more compatible better half and affection and thereafter an affair develops.
While the world may sympathize with the errant, an affair will never go well with the affected partner.
Here, if couples learn to celebrate their differences by finding common grounds, a long-term relationship can be salvaged.
“Why affairs happen”, may continue to intrigue the world, but the recipe for a lasting relationship must include two ingredients and those are friendship and respect. When partners share a friendship, there’s fun. When partners respect each other, it results in togetherness and when two people are together, affairs rarely happen.
Also, it is extremely imperative that a relationship starts well. The beginning decides the end of any relationship. If the beginning is pleasant, people learn to love and forgive because trust breeds commitment. Any relationship that lacks trust can never be insecure. Ensure that the beginning is fine.
Partners should be mature enough to filter third party interferences whether it is from an outsider of the opposite gender or from individual families. This builds tolerance. Ultimately it is the relationship that should be placed in the center!
Perhaps nature knew that couples would tire of each other and hence the process of copulation came about! Sex must never be relegated to the backburner. Regardless of busy schedules or even lack of attraction, the act of sex must be regular, frequent and fun. Here, familiarity does breed love and of course a brood! A brood may oftentimes bind a relationship!
Partners who communicate daily and cordially will stay together. Communicating should be fun and not a serious discussion. Talk about each other and about others. Gossips are juicy and help in lubricating frictions! Listen too without offering advice!
An affair is certainly a life-altering experience involved, including to children if any. The fact that infidelity is kept under wraps indicates that the disloyal partner does not want to cheat or hurt. It’s all about priorities and both the cheat as well as the victim need to work equally hard in salvaging a relationship.
The betrayed partner also needs to understand that the philandering partner did not ask for a split, but just strayed. The betrayed partner also needs to introspect to find his or her contribution to the mess.